Things to consider when deciding what to do with a loved one’s ashes

While the funeral and wake can be a wonderful way of memorialising and celebrating a life, you may have some questions about what comes next.

Many people choose cremation rather than a traditional burial, and if this is the choice that your loved one has made, you are probably wondering what you will do with their ashes.

After some time has passed, you will feel ready to begin making this big decision, however, there are some things you should consider when deciding what to do with a loved one’s ashes. We have collected some vital points to consider during this challenging time. Read on to find out more.


Did your loved one have last wishes?

If you have ever taken the time to talk about death and last wishes with your loved one, you should definitely take this into account.

Even if these wishes are not written down, your loved one may have mentioned a special place they wished for their ashes to be scattered, or something similar.

The vaguest discussion might help to guide you when making this difficult decision.


Give yourself time

Some people choose what they will do with the ashes of their loved one immediately and do it soon after the cremation.

This is quite common, especially if you know that they had specific wishes that you want to carry out. 

However, if you have not had either a formal or informal discussion about your loved one’s ashes, or you simply want to take some time, this is absolutely fine.

Don’t rush into anything; let yourself grieve and let yourself take the time to make the decision that feels completely right to you.


Cremation Urn On Table


Consider how many people you want to involve

Deciding what to do with your loved one’s ashes is a very personal decision. If there is a special place that you are planning to scatter the ashes, decide whether you want to do it alone, with a small selection of people, or have a larger celebration.

You can decide which tone you want to set for the scattering or any other way you choose to honour your loved one.


Know the local laws

If you are planning on a scattering, be aware that there are some laws prohibiting you from scattering ashes in some places.

You may also need to request special permission if you wish to take the ashes overseas.

Ensure that you take the time to check every aspect of the scattering so that you don’t end up disappointed and having to stop and start again somewhere else; this could be an upsetting addition to an already emotionally challenging moment.

Logistics and legalities must be taken into account so that the scattering is an event that is as smooth as possible.


Keeping the ashes

As cremation has become increasingly popular, you may find that you wish to keep your loved one’s ashes in an urn.

You should consider whether the urn is likely to be knocked over, broken, or even misplaced during a move. Because of these issues, a final resting place is often the more popular choice.


You can still opt for burial

Has your family been traditionally buried in their own plot? Then perhaps you have considered whether it is possible to bury the urn there.

This is becoming a more and more common choice, with either the urn or just the ashes being buried in a burial plot. This can be a wonderful way to have somewhere to visit your loved one and feel connected to them.


Think about unusual options

Nowadays, there are other options besides scattering ashes or keeping them in an urn.

There are increasingly modern options available to you, such as having ashes turned into a piece of memorial jewellery that you can keep forever.

If there are many members of your family or friendship group, it is worth discussing these options before choosing.


Don’t be afraid to talk about it

All of this might sound overwhelming, but compassionate funeral director will always be on hand to discuss these options with you and help you to make the decisions that you need to.

It is important to talk about what is best for you and what best honours the memory of your loved one so that you are confident in the final decisions that you make.


Contact us

Has your loved one passed away and you are trying to decide what to do next?

Our compassionate funeral directors on the Gold Coast are here to help you with every part of the process.

From arranging the funeral and wake to more complex issues such as repatriation, we are here to help you to say goodbye to your loved one.

You can get in touch with us when you are ready to start discussing how you would like to proceed with the process. 

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