Dr Alan Wolfelt, a renowned grief counsellor from the US, explains grief and its connection to love:
“You see, love and grief are two sides of the same precious coin. One does not-and cannot-exist without the other. They are the yin and yang of our lives. People sometimes say that grief is the price we pay for the joy of having loved. If we allow ourselves the grace of love, we must also allow ourselves the grace of grief and mourning.”
Grief is not something we choose or don’t choose. Rather, it is in our wiring. It is the normal and necessary journey we embark on after something we have valued no longer exists.
Grief can take many forms and may affect us emotionally, physically and even socially. There is no single way to grieve, and no set timeline for how long the process should take. Some people may feel sadness immediately, while others experience numbness, anger, confusion or periods where life feels almost normal again.
Allowing ourselves to experience these emotions can be an important part of adjusting to loss. Grief is not about forgetting the person we have lost or “moving on” from them. Instead, it is about learning how to carry their memory with us while gradually finding a way forward.
The depth of grief often reflects the significance of the relationship we shared. In that sense, grief is not separate from love, but a continuation of it. The memories, connections and influence of someone important to us remain part of our lives, even after they are gone.
